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John Alderton
Starred in "Please Sir" sans Moustache.
Arch-Angel
Eye-patched sinister, big boss of intelligence syndicate in "Air-Wolf"
Its the Stotts!

Arkwright
Barker stars in top notch grocering sit-com, replete with brown overcoat and a cheeky wee little Davy Jason assisting,who went on to 'tache glory in "Frost"
Seth Armstrong
Glorious Muzzy-Sidie combo, from the miserable bugger Armstrong in T.V.'s Emmerdale Farm.
Asterix
Gaul cartoon hero, with impressive "Musketeer". Also joined by many other village lip ticklers in his clashes with the Romans, including-Vitalstatistix, (Ginger "El Macho II") Fulliautomatix, (Blonde "El Macho II"), and Obelisk (Ginger "Ambassador")
Baldrick
"Blackadders" sidekick in all four series of aforementioned "Blackadder", acrobatically balances a slug on his lip, thus creating a 'tache of some versatility.
Bobby Ball
Sidekick to Tommy Cannon, starred in the fabulously bad "Boys In Blue" Film spin-off vehicle for "Cannon & Ball's" decidedly meagre talents.
Vivian Banch
T.V. news reporter who broke the "Edmonds shoots Anderson" story on "Brass Eye". Another "Femtache" this time a superlative "Cookie Duster"
Drew Barrymore
Former drug addict and child star, sports a terrifingly convincing Bealesque lip tickler, when disquised in the film "Charlie's Angels".
Ian Beale
An elusive beast, spotted briefly during the early 90's, in Albert Square, come back "The Beale" all is forgiven.
Jeremy Beadle
Spotted in his Autobiography by an eagle-eyed compiler of Beadlebelia
Blakey
Off "On the Buses" moaning old get.
Bob
Seen sporting a "femtache" in "Blackadder goes Forth" as some sort of disguise. One of the few "female facial ferrets" we have, come on girls give it a try!
Borat
Sacha Baron-Cohen makes up for giving Ali G a Craig David stylee beard by adorning his second creation with an "Executive".
Arthur Bostrom
Officer Crabtree in "'Allo Allo" joining at least another 15 moustaches in this terrible (but at the same time, utterly fantastic!) sit-com.
Peter Bowles
A constant participant, seen in "To The Manor Born" and "The Irish R.M." playing upper class, stubborn charmers.
Boysey
Cockney boy-made-good, as classic cigar chomping, whining spiv, in "Only Fools and Horses".
The Brass Moustache
Gets a good polishing in "Brass Eye".
Mr Briggs
The father of "Johnny Briggs", also popped up in "Eastenders" attempting to woo the enchanting Pauline Fowler.
Tom Brook
Balding cinema critic seen as a roving reporter on "Film 86"(etc), and now spotted late at night standing in Times Square on BBC1's "News 24" movie program.
Mr Bronson
Little Hitler type in "Grange Hill". The Actor did actually play the Boy Adolf in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", his appendage can also be seen in "Empire Strikes Back"
Bob Carolgees
Master of "Spit the Dog" hilarious 80's Ventriloquist.
Todd Carty
Allegedly early teen growth after he graduated from "Grange Hill", and before "Eastenders", in "Tuckers Luck"
Chuckie's Dad
Vibrant Ginger number for the scatty Father of one of the "Rugrats", the ginger one.

Paul Chuckle
The older and wiser half of the timeless comedy duo The Chuckle Brothers. Starred in "ChuckleVision" with his inept Brother.
Barry Chuckle
The young wipper-snapper of the duo, although there is not much between them. Both brothers also sport Semi-Mullets, and colourful clothing.
~~Timothy Claypole~~
SUSPENDED DUE TO THE PRESENCE OF A BEARD
John Cleese
Although he will have worn many a fake upper lip piece in his "Python" days, his genuine 'tache can be found in a terrible hotel in Torquay.
Cliff
Disgruntled, bar propping postal worker in "Cheers"
William Conrad
Corpulent cheeky P.I. accompanied by equally cheeky tuba sound-track in late 70's detective drama Cannon.
Bernard Cribbins
Wore a good 'un in "Fawlty Towers".
Dick Dastardly
As his name suggests he is literally a "dastardly" character. His attempts to win "Wacky Races" usually end in tears, even though he happens to be miles ahead of anyone at the time. Has a cracking pencil style handlebar-Superb. Probably based on moustachioed cad Mister Terry Thomas.
Dennis
Comedy gonk in "Heartbreak High", terrible yet addictive (like crack?) Aussie-High School drama type thing. Inexplicably grew a cracking blonde bum fluff effort, this picture is terrible so if anyone has any better ones let us know.
Donald & Davy Stott
Alter egos of "Reeves and Mortimer", donned amusing gaffer tape moustaches whilst interviewing micro-celebrities, and falling about laughing.
Tony Farrino
Steve Coogan's "Italian Stallion" lounge crooner, makes songs such as "Lapdancing Lady" his own, and shows enough matted chest hair to sink a battleship.
Ned Flanders
Next door neighbour of "The Simpsons" glorious cookie duster
of epic proportions, Father of Rod and Todd, and Husband of the now departed Maude. Regular church goer and all round top "diddly" op chap.
Bruce Forsyth
G...g...g...Great all round entertainer and quizshow stalwart,enough about his 'tache-Brucie isn't bad either.
The Fox
Fiendishly cunning carnivore from "Droopy" cartoons. Sports
a similar whispy pencil to that of Dastardly.
Dennis Franz
Sweaty copper in "N.Y.P.D. Blue"
Michael Fish
T.V. Weather man of cult status-possibly due to his trustworthy, and conservative greying "executive".
Alf Garnet
Cockney bigot, saving grace of fine 'tache teamed with a bald
head.
Geraldo
Smooth talking latino talk show host, a touch smarmy for some tastes.
Terry Gilliam
Another "Python" member who was a consistent user of the fake moustache, which we in the office wholeheartedly support. We obviously see the real thing as superior, however there are times and places when a fake can come in handy.
Ted Glenn
"Hallo Pat" said Greendale's all round handy man and good egg; he was always to be found in the right place at the right time, and Pat was very relived to see him. Whenever Pat had broken something Teds cry was "Leave it with me!". A great man and a joy to watch at work.

George
Inept landlord wed to Mildred lived under two birds and onebloke in the 70's classic "Man About the House" before gaining his own series.
Gordon
Wise and friendly father figure of "Sesame Street" gone for the Errol Brown-Bald and 'Tache-equally happy minding young N.Y. children or talking to flourescent monsters of many hues.
Derek Griffiths
Friendly "Playschool" presenter during the reign of Big and Little Ted, Humpty and Gemmima.
Gareth Hale
The unfunny one out of "Hale and Pace". How can you tell? we hear you shout.
Alvin Hall
T.V. Accountant currently starring in "Your Money Or Your Life".
Bernard Hill
"Yosser Hughes" in Alan Bleasdales gritty northern dole drama "Boys from the Blackstuff".
Howard
One half of drippy comedy double act; "Howard & Hilda"
in "Ever Decreasing Circles" combined his greying 'tache with amusing shell suits, like his wife Hilda, except she never had a 'tache.
Eric Idle
Yet another "Python" with a 'tache fixation. Best work is considered to be, the Moustache sketch in which said facial adornment dissapears and reappears.
David Jason
Graduated from "Open all Hours" under the guiding hand of moustache giant Barker, and has gone on tho develop his own stlye in "Frost".
David Jatt
Fake interviewer from "Brass Eye", with an obviously fraudulent thick, black number. Managed to convince Carla Lane that the Iraqis fire cows from enormous tubes.
Cpl Jack Jones
Buffoon Butcher found in Warmington on Sea, acting as part time Home Guard Corporal. The moustache in question, helped Clive Dunn to achieve the look of a panic-striken old man, when in actual fact the actor was a lot younger. (He was 27!)
Col. K
Old and Wise military Walrus (an actual walrus, or hamster if you listen to the rumours), in charge of International Spy organisation in "Danger Mouse". His secret offices were located under a post box, just by Big Ben in London.
Gordon Kaye
The most prominent and memorable member of the "'Allo 'Allo" 'tache family. Owner of Resistance hideout, and sometime cafe, Renee's, Husband of Edith and lover of several comedy french fancies.
Howard Keel
Film Actor who turned up in Dallnasty in the 80's.
Jason King
70's P.I. with luxuriantly coiffeured hair and similar moustache.
Evil Michael Knight
Found in a feature-length episode of "Knightrider", in which Michael discovers he has a cosmetically enhanced evil doppleganger, who is intent on destroying both Michael and KITT. No photographic evidence exists of this phenomenon, so here's one we made earlier.Evil Michael Knight
Eric Knowles
Foppish antiques expert on daytime television. Assists what was Michael Parkinson, who has now been sadly usurped by Michael Aspel, on "Going For a Song". (Come back Penny Smith!)
Monsieur Alphonse
Right, this is Kenneth Connor who played Alphonse in 'Allo 'Allo. Now that is sorted out.
Monsieur L'Eclerc
UPDATE thanks to a MR Clews, L'Eclerc was not played by Connor but by Jack Haig, and others.
Another graduate of the "'Allo 'Allo" school for decrepid moustaches, played by Haig. "Ooohhhh, my dicky ticker!"
Hawk
One half of the terrifying wrestling duo "Legion of Doom", who were renowned for their spiky black and red armour.
Tosh Lines
Slightly over worked northern copper, working in the big smoke (Well...Sun Hill!) with a dark brown, droopy Jason King-esque number.
Lou
Dopey black cop, with deep Sly Stallone style voice, wears a small mouth ferret, whilst assisting his boss Chief Clancy Wiggum, in doing very little around Springfield.
Des Lynam
Unflappable T.V. sports God. Smooth as silk and house wives favourite.
Captain Mainwaring
Another incumbent of Warmington-On-Sea. By day, a mild mannered bank manager, and by night a power crazed despot captain at the command of an elite crack unit of hardened assasins, ready to tan the hide of the hun.
The Major
One of the most constantly amusing guests at "Fawlty Towers", due to his shell shocked amnesia-ridden mind. Most likely to bellow "Morning Fawlty!" to fellow moustache touter Basil right in the middle of a ridiculously convoluted situation.
Maid Marion
Another addition to our small list of moustachioed females, the real hero of Sherwood Forest as depicted in "Maid Marion and her Merry Men"
Mark
The majority of viewers may not remember the Chief's black assistant wearing any form of top lip hair snake, but we can asure you that in later series of "Ironside", Marks hair and tache gradually followed in the fashion footsteps of the early 70's.

Ted Maul
Christopher Morris' alter-ego, hilarious roving reporter,covering the ground-breaking stories of the day in "Brass Eye". A glorious greying handlebar accompanied by a mop of whispy grey locks.
Rik Mayall
Outrageous sexually charged WWI hero pilot "Flash-Heart" in "Blackadder Goes Forth"
Fulton McKay
Star of "Porridge" and "Fraggle Rock", as the lighthouse keeper and owner of "Sprocket" the Dog. Other 'taches he has worked with include; Uncle Travelling Matt and one of the head "Dozers", who sported a small, but fierce "toothbrush" under his mining helmet.
Trevor McDonald
Nation's favourite news reading 'tache. Found on the "10 o'clock News" and "Tonight with Trevor McDonald".
Jim McDonald
No relation to the above McDonald. Wheelchair bound Irish ex-forces type, murderer of Jez Quigley.Scrawny upper lip plumage.
Tim McKinnerny
Plays smug upper-class military twit "Captain Darling" in "Blackadder Goes Forth", assisting the incomparable "General Melchett", in inventing schemes of misfortune for Blackadder to complete. The "Darling" joke never seems to run out of steam, and the character is accompanied by 'taches owned by Blackadder, Melchett, Flashheart, and a slug balancing Baldrick.
General Melchett
"The Melchett" a splendid piece of face furniture from the boy "Fry", appearing as pompous W.W.I. General. Unfortunately we cannot find any pictures of this classic so please send any you have to us.
Mr Men:
Mr Slow, Mr Clumsy, Mr Fussy. These three "Good Old Boys" show the rest of the Mr Men how they should attire their top lips, not to sure about Clumsys effort though.
Gary Mullen
Freddie Mercury on "Stars in Their Eyes" wonderful T.V. moment.
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Mister Nahasapeemapetilon is the lease holder of the "Kwik-E-Mart" in Springfield. A founder member of the "B-Sharps", and all round face about town. His brother Sanjay Nahasapeemapetilon may also have one. They must run in the Nahasapeemapetilon family.
No More Horses
Fantastic Mexican chap from the "Old El Paso" advert, what can be said about such a man in the brief space we have here, not a lot apart from superb! I know this will mean little to many of you out there but I believe him to be a God, so there.
Obelix
Asterix's obese sidekick, fell in a vat of potion as a youngster, making his strength almost super-human.
Michael Palin
The most likely member of the Python team to have actually had a real moustache at the time. Many solo hair ornaments were used in sketches, including the original Marriage Guidance Counsellor sketch and as the owner of the pet shop in the Parrot sketch.
Alan Partridge
Another Steve Coogan alter ego and probably his most amusing.
Mickey Pearce
"The Mickey Pearce" can be regarded as a true innovater of the Pencil genre, only spotted on cockney spiv types. (See also Private Walker in "Dad's Army"!)
Captain Peacock
Dapper department-store don, proud owner of a military style wannabe handlebar in "Are You Being Served?"
Matthew Perry
Alleged appearance in some sit-com program on Channel 4. Possibly as elusive as "The Beale".
Leslie Phillips
In a similar vain to Terry Thomas, but far more saucy and blue, the man not the 'tache. A classic character actor to be found in almost any
British made film in the 60's and 70's, along side John Le Mesurier, who sadly never dabbled in facial topiary!
Hercule Poirot
Ludicrous Belgian creation of Agatha Christie, sports a cheeky, carefully groomed wax laden mini-handlebar. In the television series, David Suchet (brother of John-the Channel 4 news reader!) even sleeps with a specially crafted moustache sling, to protect it.
Eric Pollard
Conniving Yorkshireman from the village of "Emmerdale", always up to some financial scam or another, usually backfiring.(Perhaps seen as a more complex and not so 2D version of Dick Dastardly).
Brian Potter
The crippled owner/manager of the Phoenix Club, superbly played by Peter Kay
Cardinal Richelieu
Nicknamed "The Black Moustache", arch-nemesis of "Dogtanian".

Rigadon
Sidekick of Willy Fogg in the cartoon version of "Around the World in 80 days". Has been described as a mole, and a hamster, but it seems to us that it's perfectly clear he's a cat type bear creature.
Ted Roach
Grumpy copper from Sun Hill, in it's half hour days.
Mr Rusty
Magnificently moustachioed industrial sized grey
broom, on the heavily weighted lip of the young lad Rusty. This would surely be a hindrance in the revolution of the "Magic Roundabout".
Andrew Sachs
Now a regular in the world of BBC narration, Sachs was once to be found in the inhospitable environs of Torquay. He was seen in his winter plumage sporting a cheeky Spanish "tapas-duster" accompanying "The Cleese" and "The Major" at "Fawlty Towers".
Yosemite Sam
Demented cartoon cowboy, (although has been known to dress up for Bugs Bunny!)with impressively droopy flaming red hair horseshoe.
Tom Selleck
UPDATED Yes we have been put right on the old Miami/Hawaii debacle we truly apologise for any distress caused."The Selleck" is obviously one of the most famous and renowned 'taches, known and loved throughout the Western World. First came to prominence in "Magnum P.I.", where he lounged about in a Hawaii mansion, belonging to a millionaire who was always away on business, solving the occasional crime.
Paul Shane
Played "Ted Bovis", the regular camp stand-up in "Hi De Hi!".
Shopkeeper-Mister Benn
This mysterious little man ran the costume shop in Festival Road, regularly frequented by none other than "Mr. Benn". Never complained when the boy Benn left without paying, after visiting random historical locations in his time machine-enhanced dressing room. Teamed a classic red fez with a "toothbrush"-nice combination!
Sgt Slaughter
Another grappling "lip-garden", from the vaults of W.W.F.
Terry
Unfortunate Scouse gent., modelling the classic Scouse 'tache- black, bushy number - in "Brookside".
Nigel Thornberry
This debonair wildlife expert can be found in T.V.s "The Wild Thornberrys" with his-animal talking to daughter, and a good monkey.
Uncle Travelling Matt
Inept exploring "Fraggle" sending regular postcards detailing his mis-adventures, from around the globe, to "Fraggle Rock". Wears a marvellous piece of "furry facial fauna", accompanied
by a pith helmet and matching khakis. A Fraggle version of Albert Schweitser.
Dick Van Dyke
Stars with his son Barry in "Mortuary Assistant P.I." or something, in the Ironside/Quincy/Bergerac/Columbo/Petrochelli/Perry Mason slot, on daytime BBC1, with now silver 'tache and hair combo.
Sam Waldren
Another Greendale regular to be found driving the country lanes in his mobile grocery van. Sports a fruity full bodied pencil.
Jack Warden
Played the old street wise private eye, Harry Fox in "Crazy Like a Fox". Constant bickering with his yuppie lawyer son, provided the laughs in this short run U.S. classic.
The Warlord
Yet another wrestler with a 'tache which proves that a well groomed lip ferret can make you look even harder.
Dr Watson
Played by a number of actors throughout the latter half of the 20th century, but always consistantly with a "hairy mouth awning". Most Watsons seem to have been the real brains of the detecting duo, with the exception of Nigel Bruce, (Basil Rathbone's Watson) a magnificent blundering oaf of a man.
Montel Williams
Black empathetic U.S. talk show host, in the "Errol Brown" school of 'taches.
Lofty Wiseman
Ex S.A.S. hard man currently employed as general "shouter atter" on survival type programmes, how the mighty etc...
Steve Wright
Radio Disc Jockey of some repute, hosted "The Steve Wright People Show" on T.V. as well as numerous radio programmes. A very passable "cookie duster".
Zebedee
Curious bouncing thing that hung around "The Magic Roundabout" and said when it was "Time for bed". Magical Roundabout-Magical Handlebar